Jason KingABDUCTION: A Review
September 21st 2011 20:41
:
Love You Taylor
Category: Reviews
Oh my god - what a bloody train wreck this film is. It is so B Grade it is actually a self parodying comedy that is only saved financially because a certain wolf boy is so goddamn gorgeous and will draw in a crowd of stupid teenage girls that will enjoy it only to scream every time he is onscreen.
For as long as he can remember, Nathan Harper (Taylor Lautner) has had the uneasy feeling that he's living someone else's life. When he stumbles upon an image of himself as a little boy on a missing persons website, all of Nathan's darkest fears come true: he realizes his parents are not his own and his life is a lie, carefully fabricated to hide something more mysterious and dangerous than he could have ever imagined. Just as he begins to piece together his true identity, Nathan is targeted by a team of trained killers, forcing him on the run with the only person he can trust, his neighbor, Karen (Lily Collins). Every second counts as Nathan and Karen race to evade an army of assassins and federal operatives. But as his opponents close in, Nathan realizes that the only way he'll survive and solve the mystery of his elusive biological father is to stop running and take matters into his own hands.
There is a lack of any direction in this film and even Sigourney Weaver worked out the amount of trash she had been sucked into. When she says the line "Okey Dokey" you know she knows she is flabbergasted even she is in this piece of trash. I am stunned this film is so shit - it is directed by veteran John Singleton of Boys in the Hood, Rosewood, Shaft, Higher Learning and much much more. But this is a studio overtaken film that is just made because this studio (Lionsgate) scored uber hottie Lautner to be in their movie first after Twilight. Most of the scenes are Lautner posing and looking amazingly hot but when one friend stated at the screening "not even one decent abs shot" you know they failed miserably in this film.
Then there is Lautner himself. Do not get me wrong - I LOVE THIS GUY, he is definitely up there as one of the 3 hottest guys in Hollywood with Zefron and Leo but with all the money Taylor is making he needs to pay for some acting classes. He seems to have adopted the early Tom Cruise jaw clench manoeuvre to hide the fact he basically cannot act. It looks hot because, well, that jaw is amazing, but when it happens over 30 times in a film you know that he has no a) direction and b) no other moves up his sleeve. It also doesn't help that nearly every shot of Taylor in this film is a modelling shot designed to create sex appeal for teenage girls. I actually thought the director had to be gay but any gay director would have taken that shirt off
Then they throw in a "love interest" - with Lily Collins, I cannot believe she is 21yrs old, she looks 12 and it appears the producers searched for an actor who was worse than Lautner so he wouldn't look like the worst actor in the film. Then there is their love scene that got an entire cinema screaming with laughter. Just when things steam up a tiny bit she states "we better get some food" OMG - get his clothes off fool. But at least she has proof on film she made out with Lautner when she was younger. That is one claim to fame, especially because I am sure he bats for my team.
The film has some amazing support actors, Maria Bello and Jason Isaacs as his "parents", then Sigourney "Goddess" Weaver as a friend/ shrink/ freaky spy and Alfred Molina as a CIA agent - the cast is gold but they were all railroaded into this piece of trash. The sad thing is the film starts out good and you think you are in for a "Fugitive" styled film but then it just gets progressively worse and worse and the sad thing is that Lautner has potential if only he got acting lessons and did more than jaw clench and read lines. The other sad thing is he is on the media trail and so happy with the film that he is making a fool of himself. You will never ever hear a script worse than this - seriously - the script and acting is better in the Bold and the Beautiful - at least they can show a minor emotional range onscreen. Shawn Christensen in his writing debut for a feature film just ended his career or should move to something like Days of Our Lives.
I feel sorry for Lautner and really hope he gets someone good on his side to give him some direction in his career and film choices because this will not help him at all. Thank the gods he looks like one of them and is a genuinely nice guy but this will only get him so far. Abduction is out today and I only recommend it if you are under 18 and female, or under 18 and gay. Sadly the film is only worth 2 out of 10 and is possibly the worst film of the year. Breaking Dawn better redeem Lautner for me or those framed pics may come off the bedroom wall
For as long as he can remember, Nathan Harper (Taylor Lautner) has had the uneasy feeling that he's living someone else's life. When he stumbles upon an image of himself as a little boy on a missing persons website, all of Nathan's darkest fears come true: he realizes his parents are not his own and his life is a lie, carefully fabricated to hide something more mysterious and dangerous than he could have ever imagined. Just as he begins to piece together his true identity, Nathan is targeted by a team of trained killers, forcing him on the run with the only person he can trust, his neighbor, Karen (Lily Collins). Every second counts as Nathan and Karen race to evade an army of assassins and federal operatives. But as his opponents close in, Nathan realizes that the only way he'll survive and solve the mystery of his elusive biological father is to stop running and take matters into his own hands.
There is a lack of any direction in this film and even Sigourney Weaver worked out the amount of trash she had been sucked into. When she says the line "Okey Dokey" you know she knows she is flabbergasted even she is in this piece of trash. I am stunned this film is so shit - it is directed by veteran John Singleton of Boys in the Hood, Rosewood, Shaft, Higher Learning and much much more. But this is a studio overtaken film that is just made because this studio (Lionsgate) scored uber hottie Lautner to be in their movie first after Twilight. Most of the scenes are Lautner posing and looking amazingly hot but when one friend stated at the screening "not even one decent abs shot" you know they failed miserably in this film.
Then there is Lautner himself. Do not get me wrong - I LOVE THIS GUY, he is definitely up there as one of the 3 hottest guys in Hollywood with Zefron and Leo but with all the money Taylor is making he needs to pay for some acting classes. He seems to have adopted the early Tom Cruise jaw clench manoeuvre to hide the fact he basically cannot act. It looks hot because, well, that jaw is amazing, but when it happens over 30 times in a film you know that he has no a) direction and b) no other moves up his sleeve. It also doesn't help that nearly every shot of Taylor in this film is a modelling shot designed to create sex appeal for teenage girls. I actually thought the director had to be gay but any gay director would have taken that shirt off
Then they throw in a "love interest" - with Lily Collins, I cannot believe she is 21yrs old, she looks 12 and it appears the producers searched for an actor who was worse than Lautner so he wouldn't look like the worst actor in the film. Then there is their love scene that got an entire cinema screaming with laughter. Just when things steam up a tiny bit she states "we better get some food" OMG - get his clothes off fool
. But at least she has proof on film she made out with Lautner when she was younger. That is one claim to fame, especially because I am sure he bats for my team. 
The film has some amazing support actors, Maria Bello and Jason Isaacs as his "parents", then Sigourney "Goddess" Weaver as a friend/ shrink/ freaky spy and Alfred Molina as a CIA agent - the cast is gold but they were all railroaded into this piece of trash. The sad thing is the film starts out good and you think you are in for a "Fugitive" styled film but then it just gets progressively worse and worse and the sad thing is that Lautner has potential if only he got acting lessons and did more than jaw clench and read lines. The other sad thing is he is on the media trail and so happy with the film that he is making a fool of himself. You will never ever hear a script worse than this - seriously - the script and acting is better in the Bold and the Beautiful - at least they can show a minor emotional range onscreen. Shawn Christensen in his writing debut for a feature film just ended his career or should move to something like Days of Our Lives.
I feel sorry for Lautner and really hope he gets someone good on his side to give him some direction in his career and film choices because this will not help him at all. Thank the gods he looks like one of them and is a genuinely nice guy but this will only get him so far. Abduction is out today and I only recommend it if you are under 18 and female, or under 18 and gay
. Sadly the film is only worth 2 out of 10 and is possibly the worst film of the year. Breaking Dawn better redeem Lautner for me or those framed pics may come off the bedroom wall | 21 |
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