Jason KingBAIT 3D: A Review by Salty
October 2nd 2012 08:12
:
So bad it's awesome
Bait 3D is this years Piranhas 3DD - it is appalling and horrible and makes the scripts and acting of shows like Home and Away and The Bold and the Beautiful Oscar worthy. It mishmashes nearly every film in this genre and has limited skill or originality involved, it embraces every single cliche possible in this form of film and because of all of this - it is bloody brilliant 
Who would think right? Torn apart by a tragic accident, former couple Josh (Xavier Samuel) and Tina (Sharni Vinson) come face to face in a supermarket for the first time since their break up a year earlier. The awkward encounter comes moments before a robbery takes place; and then the unimaginable occurs, a tsunami swallows the sleepy beach community.
Josh and Tina find themselves in a desperate situation, trapped in the underground supermarket along with other survivors from the store with no escape. Rushing water quickly floods the supermarket threatening to entomb them in a watery grave. Before long the survivors discover they are not alone, the tsunami has brought unwanted visitors from the depths. The survivors quickly realise their battle is not only to overcome the threat of drowning and the predator within their midst, but a threat far more sinister -- hungry great white sharks.
I mean people get paid to write this stuff - I so went into the wrong business.
There is "homage" to every single shark film, but really it is more just a ripping off - I actually think this film aimed for hideous and that Tarantino would love this as some kind of Grindhouse film. The script is out of control hideous - and this one line proves it "you're a dog murderer, and that's way worse than a human murderer" - I rest my case. This type of dialogue continues for most of the film, then there is just the story. Besides the fact of the sharks in a supermarket thing, there are things like building suits of armour out of shelving, magical long lengths of piping for underwater breathing and endless supplies of rope apparating out of thin air. There is also my favourite thing - that the girlfriend is more upset at the possibility of her mutt being eaten by a shark than she is of her boyfriend being shredded in front of her.
The success to this film lies in the attitude you take in with it. My good friend, Big G, from Newcastle drove down Terrigal and we planned on a nice meal and a laugh at the train wreck of a film and right from the get go I started giggling like a school girl, as did the school girls behind us - this is a no shame stupidfest of cinematic brilliance. The only thing it was missing was a ""it bit my dick off" scene.
Now there was main reason I was desperate to see this and that was Xavier Samuel. I have loved this guy ever since he was in brilliant Oz Indie film September, then the gay guy in Newcastle, The Loved Ones and more recently in Hollywood films Twilight and Anonymous - the guy is superb and has the most illegally smooth skin on the planet - he literally slides everywhere on that skin. When he gets wet he sparkles like Edward lol. But he was my main attraction and he does not disappoint - he still manages to be incredibly serious and whole heartedly believes in the film and hilarity all around him. Another reason I wanted to see this film was for the opportunity to see Lincoln Lewis eaten by a shark - been a dream of mine for a while now hahaha. But the rest of the cast is actually pretty good and it was evident they wanted to just have some fun. There is Sharni Vinson (one of the Step Ups), Julian McMahon, Alex Russell (Chronicle) and a bunch of other Ozzie actors you will have seen around.
Now, the negatives, "surely not" lol. But the film is incredibly racist and seems to ensure it eats Asians. Then where oh where did a flying saw blade come from during the tsunami to chop half a head off (this was actually the commencement of my giggling). Then for a film with sharks in a supermarket it could have been more fun, I actually think the film should have not held back and gone crazy with its stupidity. I would have liked to have seen sharks work out how to work escalators or something similar, hey if Velociraptors can open doors anything is possible. Now the film was made for me when Xavier basically becomes Sarah Connor with weaponry and underwater holding his breath - it was pure gold. I just wanted it to be more sillier - hear's hoping for a sequel - what about Shark's on a Plane in a Supermarket that's flooded with Sharks on an Island with a Volcano going ballistic.
Now honestly the film is bad, but bad was what we wanted and it really embraces it. Well worth it in 3D if you want a funny evening out. For me worth a happy 7 out of 10.
Who would think right? Torn apart by a tragic accident, former couple Josh (Xavier Samuel) and Tina (Sharni Vinson) come face to face in a supermarket for the first time since their break up a year earlier. The awkward encounter comes moments before a robbery takes place; and then the unimaginable occurs, a tsunami swallows the sleepy beach community.
Josh and Tina find themselves in a desperate situation, trapped in the underground supermarket along with other survivors from the store with no escape. Rushing water quickly floods the supermarket threatening to entomb them in a watery grave. Before long the survivors discover they are not alone, the tsunami has brought unwanted visitors from the depths. The survivors quickly realise their battle is not only to overcome the threat of drowning and the predator within their midst, but a threat far more sinister -- hungry great white sharks.
I mean people get paid to write this stuff - I so went into the wrong business.
There is "homage" to every single shark film, but really it is more just a ripping off - I actually think this film aimed for hideous and that Tarantino would love this as some kind of Grindhouse film. The script is out of control hideous - and this one line proves it "you're a dog murderer, and that's way worse than a human murderer" - I rest my case. This type of dialogue continues for most of the film, then there is just the story. Besides the fact of the sharks in a supermarket thing, there are things like building suits of armour out of shelving, magical long lengths of piping for underwater breathing and endless supplies of rope apparating out of thin air. There is also my favourite thing - that the girlfriend is more upset at the possibility of her mutt being eaten by a shark than she is of her boyfriend being shredded in front of her.
The success to this film lies in the attitude you take in with it. My good friend, Big G, from Newcastle drove down Terrigal and we planned on a nice meal and a laugh at the train wreck of a film and right from the get go I started giggling like a school girl, as did the school girls behind us - this is a no shame stupidfest of cinematic brilliance. The only thing it was missing was a ""it bit my dick off" scene
.
Now there was main reason I was desperate to see this and that was Xavier Samuel. I have loved this guy ever since he was in brilliant Oz Indie film September, then the gay guy in Newcastle, The Loved Ones and more recently in Hollywood films Twilight and Anonymous - the guy is superb and has the most illegally smooth skin on the planet - he literally slides everywhere on that skin. When he gets wet he sparkles like Edward lol. But he was my main attraction and he does not disappoint - he still manages to be incredibly serious and whole heartedly believes in the film and hilarity all around him. Another reason I wanted to see this film was for the opportunity to see Lincoln Lewis eaten by a shark - been a dream of mine for a while now hahaha. But the rest of the cast is actually pretty good and it was evident they wanted to just have some fun. There is Sharni Vinson (one of the Step Ups), Julian McMahon, Alex Russell (Chronicle) and a bunch of other Ozzie actors you will have seen around.
Now, the negatives, "surely not" lol. But the film is incredibly racist and seems to ensure it eats Asians. Then where oh where did a flying saw blade come from during the tsunami to chop half a head off (this was actually the commencement of my giggling). Then for a film with sharks in a supermarket it could have been more fun, I actually think the film should have not held back and gone crazy with its stupidity. I would have liked to have seen sharks work out how to work escalators or something similar, hey if Velociraptors can open doors anything is possible. Now the film was made for me when Xavier basically becomes Sarah Connor with weaponry and underwater holding his breath - it was pure gold. I just wanted it to be more sillier - hear's hoping for a sequel - what about Shark's on a Plane in a Supermarket that's flooded with Sharks on an Island with a Volcano going ballistic.
Now honestly the film is bad, but bad was what we wanted and it really embraces it. Well worth it in 3D if you want a funny evening out. For me worth a happy 7 out of 10.
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