Jason KingThe Expendables (7/10)
August 22nd 2010 23:28
:
So Bad it's Good
Category: No Category
It's been a while since I reviewed a film thanks to the evil assholes that broke into my house and stole my computer. Big thanks to my work who has loaned me a mini laptop that is so small it is embarassing compared to my sooper awesome 27" IMac that is no more 
Well, the good news is that I have 8 film reviews to get written this week on Salty, 4 articles about food and a few random articles for Total Randomness. It is going to be one busy week and I must try and maintain motivation.
But now for Sly's latest film, The Expendables. It is a trip back in time to the Rambo days, the Commando days and the senseless action days. It is so bad it is awesome
. Sly has gotten together an ensemble cast of action heroes that is so huge it could have action junkies having an orgasm in the cinema. It pretty much has every huge action star from the 80's and 90's except Van Damme - he's an idiot though so I can understand this and Segal - I think he is too busy thinking he is buddha and being a sheriff in some poor US town, he is even doing a TV show about him being an actual sheriff.
THE EXPENDABLES is a hard-hitting action/thriller about a group of mercenaries hired to infiltrate a South American country and overthrow its ruthless dictator. Written, directed by and starring Sylvester Stallone, THE EXPENDABLES brings together a dynamic cast including Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, Terry Crews, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Mickey Rourke.
I thouroughly enjoyed the insanity of it. It is B grade and it is proud to be B grade, even Sly has been laughing in interivews about it being B grade. He wanted nothing more than what he achieved and he did it well. I think Statham and Rourke steal the show, they are both perfect in their characters. I also enjoyed that it wasn't egomaniacal for Sly. He shares equal screentime and does not deem himself the biggest action hero in the film. Bruce Willis and Arnie are only in it briefly and the scene is brilliant - Bruce's character asks Sly about Arnie "what's his problem?" - "he wants to be the fucking president" LOL. It was perfect.
The film cannot be judged on its plot or its acting. They are both bad. This film is all about two things. Testosterone and blowing shit up. You know a film is bad when you have Eric Roberts as the bad guy, this guy is a woeful actor and his sister got all the talent and success but he always pops up in B grade schlopp as the bad guy. And it works in this film because it is trying to be an 80's B grade blow everything up film. Dolph Lundgren is appalling - he makes me cringe every time he opens his mouth but again, it works in this film.
Jean-Claude Van Damme was offered a role, but he turned it down claiming that there was no substance in the character. Has he seen any of his films? Segal was also offered a cameo but he had "negative connections" with the producer, whatever that means? He is too spiritual for his own good. Wesley Snipes was also offered the role that went to Terry Crews, but due to his tax problems he is not allowed to leave the US without court approval.
The only letdown for this film for me was the fact that with so many action heroes and the hype behind the film that the action didn't go even bigger, the cast could have been utilised to better effect and given us something so huge that all our heads would have exploded.
It was quite surprising that Sly didn't die making this film. He fractured his neck in the fight with Steve Austin, he battled shingles, bronchitis, a ruptured ankle and a broken tooth all during filming. What a legend
I am confident we will see a sequal for the future and for some reason Sandra Bullock has expressed interest in being in a sequal?? WTF - unless they shoot it on a bus I can't see that one working.
The Expenadable is out now and while not a date film it is great to watch a heap of shit getting blown up and oodles of people getting killed. Worth 7 out of 10
Well, the good news is that I have 8 film reviews to get written this week on Salty, 4 articles about food and a few random articles for Total Randomness. It is going to be one busy week and I must try and maintain motivation.
But now for Sly's latest film, The Expendables. It is a trip back in time to the Rambo days, the Commando days and the senseless action days. It is so bad it is awesome
. Sly has gotten together an ensemble cast of action heroes that is so huge it could have action junkies having an orgasm in the cinema. It pretty much has every huge action star from the 80's and 90's except Van Damme - he's an idiot though so I can understand this and Segal - I think he is too busy thinking he is buddha and being a sheriff in some poor US town, he is even doing a TV show about him being an actual sheriff.
THE EXPENDABLES is a hard-hitting action/thriller about a group of mercenaries hired to infiltrate a South American country and overthrow its ruthless dictator. Written, directed by and starring Sylvester Stallone, THE EXPENDABLES brings together a dynamic cast including Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, Terry Crews, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Mickey Rourke.
I thouroughly enjoyed the insanity of it. It is B grade and it is proud to be B grade, even Sly has been laughing in interivews about it being B grade. He wanted nothing more than what he achieved and he did it well. I think Statham and Rourke steal the show, they are both perfect in their characters. I also enjoyed that it wasn't egomaniacal for Sly. He shares equal screentime and does not deem himself the biggest action hero in the film. Bruce Willis and Arnie are only in it briefly and the scene is brilliant - Bruce's character asks Sly about Arnie "what's his problem?" - "he wants to be the fucking president" LOL. It was perfect.
The film cannot be judged on its plot or its acting. They are both bad. This film is all about two things. Testosterone and blowing shit up. You know a film is bad when you have Eric Roberts as the bad guy, this guy is a woeful actor and his sister got all the talent and success but he always pops up in B grade schlopp as the bad guy. And it works in this film because it is trying to be an 80's B grade blow everything up film. Dolph Lundgren is appalling - he makes me cringe every time he opens his mouth but again, it works in this film.
Jean-Claude Van Damme was offered a role, but he turned it down claiming that there was no substance in the character. Has he seen any of his films? Segal was also offered a cameo but he had "negative connections" with the producer, whatever that means? He is too spiritual for his own good. Wesley Snipes was also offered the role that went to Terry Crews, but due to his tax problems he is not allowed to leave the US without court approval.
The only letdown for this film for me was the fact that with so many action heroes and the hype behind the film that the action didn't go even bigger, the cast could have been utilised to better effect and given us something so huge that all our heads would have exploded.
It was quite surprising that Sly didn't die making this film. He fractured his neck in the fight with Steve Austin, he battled shingles, bronchitis, a ruptured ankle and a broken tooth all during filming. What a legend
I am confident we will see a sequal for the future and for some reason Sandra Bullock has expressed interest in being in a sequal?? WTF - unless they shoot it on a bus I can't see that one working.
The Expenadable is out now and while not a date film it is great to watch a heap of shit getting blown up and oodles of people getting killed. Worth 7 out of 10
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Comment by ShaunK
Screen Adventure
looks like you had some fun with this , I'll have to see it soon. I'm also sure that there were some weak spots in the cast - steve austin?? meh. Jason statham aside I look forward to my mickey rourke multiples - I'm sure he must have been the best of the bunch
hey - Sly had a stroke during his birth - (i'm being serious here, he did) he's one tough S.O.B. a broken ankle or tooth wont stop him -
and finally, for my closing throw away comment of the day, I've got alot of time for Eric Roberts, beside he also played a villain in the dark knight....oh this is fun - bless you Jason
P.S. have you seen Mala Noche, I watched it last night and perhaps have it qued up for a review...
Comment by Jason King
Sydney Table
Salty Popcorn
Total Randomness
Steve Austin doesn't talk much so this is good. And Lundgren is the only one who made me laugh and cringe in equal measure.
Sly rocks - and I have never heard of Mala Noche - will keep an eye out for it.
Enjoy!!
Comment by Journeywoman
Great Hair Style Tips
I Dream of Hollywood
Fashion Peach
There were a total of three (yes, 3) women in this film who had any dialogue at all. Of those three, one was a vacuous showgirl type, another was a damsel in distress, and the third was an ethnic stereotype... who quickly became a damsel in distress also.
Now I know it's meant to be "one for the blokes", a sideshow of excessive testosterone levels and all that, but is it absolutely necessary for the female characters to be pitiful, one-dimensional stereotypes as well? Isn't the contrast between the sexes exaggerated enough?
Anyway. I didn't walk out, and my boyfriend did apologise profusely afterwards, saying "I knew it would be bad, but I didn't expect it to be THAT bad" but still.... yeesh....
Dinner was nice, at least!
Comment by Jason King
Sydney Table
Salty Popcorn
Total Randomness
I don't think it was sexist to women at all - can you point out more than one dimension from any of the male characters?
If you thought that was bad - do not even consider watching Piranhas. It is nothing but slaughter and soft porn. Review out today sometime.
Comment by Journeywoman
Great Hair Style Tips
I Dream of Hollywood
Fashion Peach
You didn't think it was sexist when Mickey Rourke's character slapped his (far too young) "girlfriend" on the arse? Or when Charisma Carpenter's character had to be rescued from her woman-beating partner? Or when Sandra was punched - hard - in the head by a man while being restrained by other men? Not sexist? REALLY?
And yes, I can point out more than one dimension from the males. Mickey Rourke's character was struggling with the "loss of his soul". Dolph Lundgren's character was dealing with a drug addiction. Jet Li's character was fantasising about being a family man, Arnie's character - a minor character at that! - had political ambitions... need I go on?
I don't think that one movie can be responsible for shaping the opinions of naive young men, but if Hollywood churns enough of these out, then we may have a whole new wave of chauvinism on our hands. It's not the men who know and respect real women that are in danger, but the awkward, virginal boys who may be led to believe that this is all that women are.
Comment by Jason King
Sydney Table
Salty Popcorn
Total Randomness
I could easily say that:
Vacuous showgirl, could actually be a girl with limited self respect or family love. Possibly homeless. Mickey Rourke's character is a biker, and one with limited self respect himself. He enjoyed that girl and the time they had but was traveller and someone who could not share a life with someone so took her under his wing for as long as they could last. She could've been dependant on him. Of course she was much younger but he was a man suffering from the loss of his soul, why should he care if he through morals out the window. A slap on the butt between lovers can be quite a turn on and I found it was used as a playful thing between two sexual partners and not as a way to degrade her.
Damsel in distress was actually a family lady who loved the mysterious boy who showed up and disappeared and enjoyed their relationship of sex. Surely she could not have been considering long term with this guy as she didn't even know his occupation. She was also a sufferer of domestic violence who could and should have gone to the police but she went to the one man she now regretted leaving, someone close who she could trust when he was around. His testosterone did what the film required and what the majority of men would fantasise doing to any man who hits women - he beat the shit out of them. Charisma Carpenter's charatcer did not have to be saved by the guy - she chose to seek help from this man. And he did what any action hero who can fight like that would do.
Ethnic stereotype was a woman born into a corrupt family who also loved her culture and wanted to fight for what she believed in. This is why Sly fell for her. She was a campaigner and used her heart and intelligence to endeavour to overcome her adversity. The fact she was punched in the head means nothing about sexism - if anything it proves sexism incorrect as she is treated like a person and not a woman. I would find it more sexist if she wasn't tortured because that draws a gap between man and woman and isn't equality what we are after?
I can see your point - but I think you are taking it a bit extreme. But if people can be misled from a fictional film to believe that is the way it is and then treat people badly, if virginal boys are shaped by a film like this and change the world astronomically then we as a race don't deserve to live
I haven't had to think and have a debate for ages - this is fun
Comment by Journeywoman
Great Hair Style Tips
I Dream of Hollywood
Fashion Peach
So thank you