Jason KingFriday the 13th ($5-)
March 12th 2009 07:11
Category: No Category
Friday the 13th ($5-)
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - this is my one word review.
For a re-imagining of a film or at least for a film to re-introduce a franchise this huge and scary they probably could have made it huge and scary. But it was neither. This is a HUGE fail.
If you’ve seen Marcus Nispel’s remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre then you know he can do some great work. And while his skill behind the camera is high quality with beautiful saturated and bold colors on screen the plot is just stupid and the whole film comes off as a wet paper bag. It is not scary, it is not suspenseful, it is so predictable I was laughing at bits I should not have been. With Texas Chainsaw Massacre I was scared and the film was made for all audiences but this one looks like another episode of Jared's Supernatural. They show you pretty teens doing what pretty teens do. They film each other having sex, they flash their perky boobs around, they smoke triple chambered bongs and drink alcohol out of their shoes, then they all die - this is probably a good thing for the rest of us.
Jared Padalecki looks just as out of place as his Supernatural co-star Jansen Eckles did in My Bloody Valentine and this should be a walk in the park for him - this film also looks like another set from Supernatural. I have to say though, he is very easy on the eye. Lucky him.
But the rest of the actors are so two dimensional they should be Simpsons characters. One of them Trent, played by Travis Van Winkle I would have killed with a machete myself just to save everyone the pain of watching him. And one of the biggest laughs is his screaming - it is the girliest scream in the whole move.
The plot of Friday the 13th: Jason separates the characters at first, kills off those who leave the group, and then trys to wind up tension for a finale. The primary tool of the trade for this is the close up shot which allows Jason to appear suddenly for a 'boo' moment. Alternatively, the director can go for a 'reveal' appearance where the killer is suddenly, and shockingly seen behind the soon-to-be victim. The characters have no real chance against him and never really mount an intelligent defense. I think this has been the same plot for pretty much every Friday the 13th film and I am surprised that for this re-imagining they did not go back and re-create the first film with Nispel’s touch. This is kind of what I was expecting and this is nothing that I got.
The film has one of the longest opening scenes in cinematic history with a 25min opener prior to the title being displayed. It is basically a mini movie and I was satisfied with that - I wish I had left after 25mins but then, I guess, I would have missed all the eye candy.
Another film that has an opening is Scream and my suggestion would be to hire this out again on DVD. This is how a teen slasher, suspense horror film should be done. I think I am quite bitter about this film. The trailer (as always) looked amazing and I was expecting this film to be THE ONE, the horror flick of the year I would love and I got very disappointed. Worth $5-
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - this is my one word review.
For a re-imagining of a film or at least for a film to re-introduce a franchise this huge and scary they probably could have made it huge and scary. But it was neither. This is a HUGE fail.
If you’ve seen Marcus Nispel’s remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre then you know he can do some great work. And while his skill behind the camera is high quality with beautiful saturated and bold colors on screen the plot is just stupid and the whole film comes off as a wet paper bag. It is not scary, it is not suspenseful, it is so predictable I was laughing at bits I should not have been. With Texas Chainsaw Massacre I was scared and the film was made for all audiences but this one looks like another episode of Jared's Supernatural. They show you pretty teens doing what pretty teens do. They film each other having sex, they flash their perky boobs around, they smoke triple chambered bongs and drink alcohol out of their shoes, then they all die - this is probably a good thing for the rest of us.
Jared Padalecki looks just as out of place as his Supernatural co-star Jansen Eckles did in My Bloody Valentine and this should be a walk in the park for him - this film also looks like another set from Supernatural. I have to say though, he is very easy on the eye. Lucky him.
But the rest of the actors are so two dimensional they should be Simpsons characters. One of them Trent, played by Travis Van Winkle I would have killed with a machete myself just to save everyone the pain of watching him. And one of the biggest laughs is his screaming - it is the girliest scream in the whole move.
The plot of Friday the 13th: Jason separates the characters at first, kills off those who leave the group, and then trys to wind up tension for a finale. The primary tool of the trade for this is the close up shot which allows Jason to appear suddenly for a 'boo' moment. Alternatively, the director can go for a 'reveal' appearance where the killer is suddenly, and shockingly seen behind the soon-to-be victim. The characters have no real chance against him and never really mount an intelligent defense. I think this has been the same plot for pretty much every Friday the 13th film and I am surprised that for this re-imagining they did not go back and re-create the first film with Nispel’s touch. This is kind of what I was expecting and this is nothing that I got.
The film has one of the longest opening scenes in cinematic history with a 25min opener prior to the title being displayed. It is basically a mini movie and I was satisfied with that - I wish I had left after 25mins but then, I guess, I would have missed all the eye candy.
Another film that has an opening is Scream and my suggestion would be to hire this out again on DVD. This is how a teen slasher, suspense horror film should be done. I think I am quite bitter about this film. The trailer (as always) looked amazing and I was expecting this film to be THE ONE, the horror flick of the year I would love and I got very disappointed. Worth $5-
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Scary movies are really appealing. I don't know why.
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I think there have been 9 Friday the 13th's so far and this one could have just been 10 as opposed to a fresh start to the franchise. I remember the original 2 or 3 and I just loved them at the time - they came out when B slash horror was the norm that we all loved. I think now it would probably be dated but would still be much scarier than this one. And I think you find them appealing because your are slightly twisted
Seriously - I think we all love scary movies because it gives us an extreme emotional reaction in a safe environment. It makes us feel something.
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Stay healthy and loose weight
Cheers
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Stu-kicks - I don't think I should be thanking you because for some reason I think that was an insult but thanks for stopping by and reading regardless.