Jason KingLOVE IN THE TIME OF CHOLERA (2007)
May 17th 2008 09:53
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LOVE IN THE TIME OF CHOLERA (2007) $5-
Yawn! This film is one of the worst romantic novel interpretations I have ever seen. I just did not care in any way whether there 50 something year love triangle actually worked out. At close to two and half hours it felt like a year watching this swamp slop. I actually had to walk laps around the cinema to ensure I did not sleep. Don't worry - I watch them in cinemas by myself.
Gabriel Garcia Marquez's novel LOVE IN THE TIME OF CHOLERA straddles the line between pop and art, and manages to be both a bestseller and a literary masterpiece. With an excellent cast and a timeless story, Mike Newell's cinematic adaptation strives for that same balance. As a young man in 19th-century Colombia, Florentino Ariza (played primarily by Javier Bardem) falls in love with a beautiful woman named Fermina (Giovanna Mezzogiorno). But an overprotective father (John Leguizamo) and too much reality intrude on their romance, and Fermina marries a successful doctor, Juvenal Urbino (Benjamin Bratt). But a wedding ring--and the passing decades--aren't enough to dissuade Florentino from his love, even as he beds hundreds of women as he tries to get over his undying passion. Screenwriter Ronald Harwood (THE PIANIST) distills Garcia Marquez's novel--which spans more than 50 years and almost 400 pages--into an accessible film.
Javier Bardem is OK - was not overly impressed. I kept wanting him to rip out his airgun from No Country for Old Men and blast a few people just to liven things up a bit. His character Florentino Ariza we have the unfortunate pleasure to witness about 50yrs of his life. He starts as a young teenager and this is played by someone different, Unax Ugalde, and I think he is much better. I actually liked him, I felt for him, I empathised with him. They applied a bit of plasticine to make his nose look like Javier's and this was the start of the most horrible latex and aging make-up used in film. We then get to watch Javier crying because the woman he loves does not love him. Sheesh, build a bridge JMan and GET over it. I then kept thinking for half an hour - is this guy going to go all crazy stalker and start offing people, but NO - he maintains the gonads of a wet paper bag and instead sleeps with 622 women (exactly, he keeps a notebook) until he gets his woman back and we get to see them in make-up pretending to be 72 having sex. It was enough to bring up the food I did not eat!! The casting is atrocious, the female lead is Giovanna Mezzogiorno and I just couldn't find a way to like her. We get to watch all 60 something years of her life from the age of a teenager and watch the wrinkles change with latex for the entire film, there were some scenes when she is 72 that she has wrinkles less than when she was playing 40. Her father in the film John Leguizamo was so badly cast I actually laughed - he was playing his comedy routine from Moulin Rouge and looks younger than his daughter. I would have pictured someone like Edward James Olmos to be much better and more fatherly. The guys meant to be an asshole and I was laughing at him.
Benjamin Bratt was probably one of the better actors who looked the part and spoke the part and did not require too much make-up to make him believable but I still did not care much.
I have to give this film some kudos - it is shot brilliantly and captures the era and beautiful grand scale of Cartagena, Colombia. I just loved the steamboats and would love to have lived in the time, minus the Cholera. But this was something else that bothered me - this film is set during the epidemic of Cholera and I felt they showed way too less of this and way too much of the love part in the title. OK, and my LAST BITCH I PROMISE about this film. When Florentino Ariza picks up America Vicuña (played by the gorgeous Marcela Mar), a young nymph who is about number 560 that he is sleeping with from a station, she jumps in his carriage and says "Javier"!!!!!!!!!!!! Did no-one notice this and decide to re-shoot this shot???????????
Do not let the trailer fool you!!! LOL
OK - if you read this book and loved it - steer massively clear, you may consider suicide. Please do not consider me a non-romantic. Titanic is my fave film and I balled my eyes out in the Notebook but if you are expecting the love similar to Gone with The Wind this book encapsulates believe me this is the wrong film for you. Don't even bother on TV. $5- and this is being generous because of the cinematography!!
Yawn! This film is one of the worst romantic novel interpretations I have ever seen. I just did not care in any way whether there 50 something year love triangle actually worked out. At close to two and half hours it felt like a year watching this swamp slop. I actually had to walk laps around the cinema to ensure I did not sleep. Don't worry - I watch them in cinemas by myself.
Gabriel Garcia Marquez's novel LOVE IN THE TIME OF CHOLERA straddles the line between pop and art, and manages to be both a bestseller and a literary masterpiece. With an excellent cast and a timeless story, Mike Newell's cinematic adaptation strives for that same balance. As a young man in 19th-century Colombia, Florentino Ariza (played primarily by Javier Bardem) falls in love with a beautiful woman named Fermina (Giovanna Mezzogiorno). But an overprotective father (John Leguizamo) and too much reality intrude on their romance, and Fermina marries a successful doctor, Juvenal Urbino (Benjamin Bratt). But a wedding ring--and the passing decades--aren't enough to dissuade Florentino from his love, even as he beds hundreds of women as he tries to get over his undying passion. Screenwriter Ronald Harwood (THE PIANIST) distills Garcia Marquez's novel--which spans more than 50 years and almost 400 pages--into an accessible film.
Javier Bardem is OK - was not overly impressed. I kept wanting him to rip out his airgun from No Country for Old Men and blast a few people just to liven things up a bit. His character Florentino Ariza we have the unfortunate pleasure to witness about 50yrs of his life. He starts as a young teenager and this is played by someone different, Unax Ugalde, and I think he is much better. I actually liked him, I felt for him, I empathised with him. They applied a bit of plasticine to make his nose look like Javier's and this was the start of the most horrible latex and aging make-up used in film. We then get to watch Javier crying because the woman he loves does not love him. Sheesh, build a bridge JMan and GET over it. I then kept thinking for half an hour - is this guy going to go all crazy stalker and start offing people, but NO - he maintains the gonads of a wet paper bag and instead sleeps with 622 women (exactly, he keeps a notebook) until he gets his woman back and we get to see them in make-up pretending to be 72 having sex. It was enough to bring up the food I did not eat!! The casting is atrocious, the female lead is Giovanna Mezzogiorno and I just couldn't find a way to like her. We get to watch all 60 something years of her life from the age of a teenager and watch the wrinkles change with latex for the entire film, there were some scenes when she is 72 that she has wrinkles less than when she was playing 40. Her father in the film John Leguizamo was so badly cast I actually laughed - he was playing his comedy routine from Moulin Rouge and looks younger than his daughter. I would have pictured someone like Edward James Olmos to be much better and more fatherly. The guys meant to be an asshole and I was laughing at him.
Benjamin Bratt was probably one of the better actors who looked the part and spoke the part and did not require too much make-up to make him believable but I still did not care much.
I have to give this film some kudos - it is shot brilliantly and captures the era and beautiful grand scale of Cartagena, Colombia. I just loved the steamboats and would love to have lived in the time, minus the Cholera. But this was something else that bothered me - this film is set during the epidemic of Cholera and I felt they showed way too less of this and way too much of the love part in the title. OK, and my LAST BITCH I PROMISE about this film. When Florentino Ariza picks up America Vicuña (played by the gorgeous Marcela Mar), a young nymph who is about number 560 that he is sleeping with from a station, she jumps in his carriage and says "Javier"!!!!!!!!!!!! Did no-one notice this and decide to re-shoot this shot???????????
Do not let the trailer fool you!!! LOL
OK - if you read this book and loved it - steer massively clear, you may consider suicide. Please do not consider me a non-romantic. Titanic is my fave film and I balled my eyes out in the Notebook but if you are expecting the love similar to Gone with The Wind this book encapsulates believe me this is the wrong film for you. Don't even bother on TV. $5- and this is being generous because of the cinematography!!
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Comment by Morgan Bell
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BAHAHAhahaha i have a feeling im gunna love this film!
but will i like it more than this review? lol
that was possibly the funniest line ive read in a film review ever! i love your honesty!
Comment by Jason King
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I would love to hear what you think of this but remember I warned you. It is pure S H I T.
Read the book!! Everyone raves about it.
It's glorified period film Mills and Boone style!
Comment by Morgan Bell
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Girl With A Pearl Earring
Quills
Remains Of The Day
Gosford Park
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give me an old fashioned costume and im there!
i love your descriptions though! you have creative flair!
Comment by Jason King
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All the films you listed - I really enjoyed!!
Quills, Gosford Park and Remains...... BRILLIANT.
Cholera - worst titled film ever and appalling.
I so want to hear what you think. Do you have Hoyts in Tazzie? I will send you free tix just to make you sit through it so I can hear what you think.
Comment by Morgan Bell
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Comment by Jason King
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Don't worry - it will be on DVD in like 2 weeks. LOL
CMax - is that similar to IMAX?
Comment by Morgan Bell
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i dont even know what CMAX is, just some local chain, definately not related to IMAX!
Comment by RubySoho
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how do you watch movies in a cinema by yourself?
Comment by Jason King
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Not the book - the movie is a glorified Mills & Boone. I have not read the book but have read nothing but love for it! In fact - I am thinking more Hallmark channel now. Maybe this is how the film might work - release half hour episodes over a week - this way just as people are getting annoyed or bored with it, it will be over for the night. Haha
This is why I would suggest if you loved the book - steer clear of the film.
I get to watch the films in cinemas by myself as am a senior cinema technician and occasional manager. For Blockbuster films and films that have been used and possibly damaged I start work between 6 & 7 am and screen check them prior to opening. I ensure they will not stuff up for the public and fix or replace parts of the film if required.
Comment by Tracy
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Comment by RubySoho
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that does sound like a great job...though i'm, not sure i'd be bale to concentrate on a film so early in the morning...
Comment by Howard
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Comment by Jason King
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Ruby - I got used to it and have a big kettle in projection room for making big cups of coffee. I make a breakfast and take in with me and if the film's great it should hold you and even wake you up regardless of the time. Although if the film's shit trying to stay awake is VERY hard
Howard - After watching this movie I could never read the book or any of the authors work but I have read nothing but good reviews on the Cholera book.
Thanks for commenting guys!!
Comment by Morgan Bell
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(im just a jealous girl!)
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Comment by Morgan Bell
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is it an online application? is there a link?
im always in sydney . . . im like a swinging resident! troy will love this idea, ill go crash with him again
Comment by Jason King
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Are u planning on stalking or bombing the complex?
Morgan,
Not an online application but I have a copy of the criteria at work - will email home and then to you tomorrow so you can peruse!!
Troy - as in your hubby? Hehe
Comment by Tracy
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I was just thinking about it and thought I would send you a PM but forgot to add that bit!!
Comment by Morgan Bell
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i look forward to your email!
Comment by Jason King
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Morgan - he is cute. Shhhhh. He has the pulse of controversy!! Will have to spend some time reading more!! Nice site!!
Comment by Morgan Bell
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he does do some great controversial posts sometimes, its worth having a look around his posts!
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