Jason KingSalt (3/10)
August 23rd 2010 03:31
:
Worst Jolie Film Ever
Category: No Category
Absolute pure rubbish is the best way I can describe this film. Not even one of my all time favourite actresses can save this. Angelina - I am putting this one down to post-birth hormone craziness and will let it slide.
As a CIA officer, Evelyn Salt (Jolie) swore an oath to duty, honor and country. Her loyalty will be tested when a defector accuses her of being a Russian spy. Salt goes on the run, using all her skills and years of experience as a covert operative to elude capture. Salt's efforts to prove her innocence only serve to cast doubt on her motives, as the hunt to uncover the truth behind her identity continues and the question remains: "Who Is Salt?"
My first issue is the plot - the first 30mins commence like you are watching The Fugitve then it turns into a nightmare of stupidity. The film was written by Kurt Wimmer who has written the 1999 version of The Thomas Crown Affair (which I loved), Street Kings (which I loved), The Recruit (OK) and then things like Equilibrium (crap) and Ultraviolet (good visually but overall crap). This one fits into the Ultraviolet trap. It is just so ridiculously unbelievable it should have gone straight ro DVD.
My second issue is the direction - this film is directed by Australia's own Phillip Noyce, who has made some spectacular films, Dead Calm, Patriot Games, The Bone Collector, Clear and Present Danger and Rabbit Proof Fence, to name a few. So I ask this question: WTF was he thinking? He brings 20yr old Cold War conspiracies to the fore with this film and then accepts the most ridiculous plot change I have seen in years. The reveal, about half way through, nearly had me walking out. Then we get to see nearly every good guy be the bad guy. BOOOOOOOOOOOOO to it all. Honestly Jason Bourne would suicide hearing this had been compared to a Bourne film.
Angelina had just had her last child when filming this and was using it partly to get back into shape. And she looks great, as usual, accept for the ridiculous blonde hair, it looked like a stupid wig and as fake as the blue screens in a lot of the scenes. What was impressive was that she completed her own action stunts, and yes, pretty much all of them. Originally, this film was written for Tom Cruise but he turned it down claiming it was too similar to the Mission Impossible films. I think he just read the script.
There are action scenes aplenty, and quite a few of them are great, but these are just scenes and they fail to hide the crap that is the rest of the film. A lot of the fight scenes are shot too fast and close and fail to impress while the large action scenes rely on a bit of blue screen. While Jolie did her own action scenes they looked very choreographed and for the first time I thought she was getting older. Gone was the lithe acrobatics of watching her in the Lara Croft films.
The film also stars Liev Schreiber and Chiwetel Ejiofor and they perform their parts admirably, considering what they are in.
As my buddy Seb pointed out when we were watching it "the film lacks pepper", of which I burst into "Ooh baby baby, baby baby, get up on this" - you know Push It by Salt and Pepper - never mind
. And as Seb believes all my posts should be completed - may your popcorn be Salty Salt is out now and worth 3 out of 10.
As a CIA officer, Evelyn Salt (Jolie) swore an oath to duty, honor and country. Her loyalty will be tested when a defector accuses her of being a Russian spy. Salt goes on the run, using all her skills and years of experience as a covert operative to elude capture. Salt's efforts to prove her innocence only serve to cast doubt on her motives, as the hunt to uncover the truth behind her identity continues and the question remains: "Who Is Salt?"
My first issue is the plot - the first 30mins commence like you are watching The Fugitve then it turns into a nightmare of stupidity. The film was written by Kurt Wimmer who has written the 1999 version of The Thomas Crown Affair (which I loved), Street Kings (which I loved), The Recruit (OK) and then things like Equilibrium (crap) and Ultraviolet (good visually but overall crap). This one fits into the Ultraviolet trap. It is just so ridiculously unbelievable it should have gone straight ro DVD.
My second issue is the direction - this film is directed by Australia's own Phillip Noyce, who has made some spectacular films, Dead Calm, Patriot Games, The Bone Collector, Clear and Present Danger and Rabbit Proof Fence, to name a few. So I ask this question: WTF was he thinking? He brings 20yr old Cold War conspiracies to the fore with this film and then accepts the most ridiculous plot change I have seen in years. The reveal, about half way through, nearly had me walking out. Then we get to see nearly every good guy be the bad guy. BOOOOOOOOOOOOO to it all. Honestly Jason Bourne would suicide hearing this had been compared to a Bourne film.
Angelina had just had her last child when filming this and was using it partly to get back into shape. And she looks great, as usual, accept for the ridiculous blonde hair, it looked like a stupid wig and as fake as the blue screens in a lot of the scenes. What was impressive was that she completed her own action stunts, and yes, pretty much all of them. Originally, this film was written for Tom Cruise but he turned it down claiming it was too similar to the Mission Impossible films. I think he just read the script.
There are action scenes aplenty, and quite a few of them are great, but these are just scenes and they fail to hide the crap that is the rest of the film. A lot of the fight scenes are shot too fast and close and fail to impress while the large action scenes rely on a bit of blue screen. While Jolie did her own action scenes they looked very choreographed and for the first time I thought she was getting older. Gone was the lithe acrobatics of watching her in the Lara Croft films.
The film also stars Liev Schreiber and Chiwetel Ejiofor and they perform their parts admirably, considering what they are in.
As my buddy Seb pointed out when we were watching it "the film lacks pepper", of which I burst into "Ooh baby baby, baby baby, get up on this" - you know Push It by Salt and Pepper - never mind
. And as Seb believes all my posts should be completed - may your popcorn be Salty Salt is out now and worth 3 out of 10.| 71 |
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Comment by Rix
Comment by Deni
Abstract Magick
Cinema Herald
I didn't care for this movie either but I liked it a little bit more than you did.
I don't know how up to date you are on news in America but the timing of the release of this movie was actually perfect. The U.S. has recently revealed several sleeper spies from the Soviet Union stationed in America. These guys have been planted in the U.S. for years which pretty much reflects the movie.
But other than that, it just wasn't very exciting.
Comment by Jason King
Sydney Table
Salty Popcorn
Total Randomness
Thanks Deni - I had heard about the sleepers in the US, but they weren't "Salts" who were going to ludicrously assasinate their own president followed by the world. The story was outrageous - I would have much preferred a "Fugitive" styles chase film while she is trying to find her husband. And seriously? Angelina dressed as a man?? C'mon LOL
Comment by Deni
Abstract Magick
Cinema Herald
Angelina was one ugly man! It's a good thing she was born a woman for sure.
Oh well, it made bank at the U.S. Box office. If there's a sequel I hope it's better than this one. I wasn't even inspired to do a review of it. Glad you did one.
Comment by Irene
Grammar Matters
Interrobang
Here is some of the stuff we muttered within the first ten minutes of the movie:
"She's Russian and being framed."
"The bad guy's the partner, or maybe the husband."
And a little bit later:
"She's going to inject spider venom into the president and fake his death."
"She's going to run away and Chiwetel Ejiofor will look out the helicopter and smile to himself."
I think we should go into Hollywood script writing. We know all the cliches! (And I agree--AJ as a blonde? No.)
Comment by Jason King
Sydney Table
Salty Popcorn
Total Randomness
Hollywood does need a massive saving from itself!!!