Jason KingRed Riding Hood: The Worst film of the Year (1/10)
March 23rd 2011 09:19
:
Makes Twilight Look Oscar Worthy
Category: Reviews
This film is so bad it is hysterically funny, it is a self parodying movie that should have gone straight to commercial television - hell, skip the DVD release it is that bad. I believe it even makes Twilight films look like they are all Oscar worthy.
It is Bold and The Beautiful on a big budget with a screenplay written by a junky recovering from a binge night off the wagon and directed by Catherine Hardwicke who should start a production company with M. Night Shyamalan she is that good. I loved Lords of Dogtown, I enjoyed Thirteen and Twilight and this is the end for me - I would be happy if I never saw a Hardwicke film ever again- did she even watch the dailies?? I would have resigned over ever seeing this trash released if I was the director.
OK - there were a very few things I liked in the film. Amanda Seyfried looks amazing in red and the camera work with the red cape on the snow has quite an impact. I also thought Shiloh Fernandez was so incredibly hot until he spoke then I cringed. And finally I would love to go to a pagan party and that one looked like it could have been good until a werewolf turned up and started eating people. And that was it! The rest is hideous.
David Johnson, who wrote the screenplay also wrote Orphan and is writing the upcoming Wrath of the Titans has penned possibly the worst screenplay I have ever seen on screen, as one other reviewer wrote "what big cliches you have". Catherine Hardwicke and the studios have to accept the blame for this though - they are the ultimate people responsible for making the films and seeing them through to the end. Hardwicke is basically the captain of the ship and she should have sunk to the bottom of the ocean with this one.
Every single actor is appalling in their delivery - I can't really blame them though for the screenplay/ script is pure trash rubbish. Seriously to see Gary Oldman in a role I would slap him for is shocking - did he act that bad on purpose or was it the level he was lowered to? Seyfriend can definitely act but she bounces from scene to scene with a look on her face that says - why couldn't I play the sister that was killed at the start? Fernandez is just plain bad and the quite attractive Max Irons (Dorian Gray) is embarrassing - he made Taylor Lautner look like a brilliant actor. He has the most tiniest ears that are very unnatural and kept me and Seb (viewing partner in crime) in hysterics every time he had a profile shot.
There is one scene between Irons and Fernandez - "if you're the werewolf I am going to chop your head off" - "I will do the same to you" - it's damn close to that - but it had the entire cinema in hysterics - it was possibly the gayest moment of the film between two people that sounded like they were reading straight from a script and had lost the meaning of the words emotional inflection. The entire cinema burst into laughter at the film.
There are also some the characters in the film that were just a waste of space. Billy Burke - Bella's dad from Twilight - is just disgraceful, it was like he smoked a truckload of pot before every scene and was wishing Edward had sucked his blood dry in Twilight to avoid being in this film. It was like watching a manic depressive acting scene. Then there was Vriginia Madsen who needed to be moved to a set for Days of Our Lives. But then there was grannie - played by Julie Christie who actually could act but her character was so loopy I just wanted her to be the wolf so the entire messed up "grannie, what big eyes you have......" scene could work.
A real shame this film is so hideously shit - the story could have been made into something really dark - Tim Burton doing a decent screenplay on the basis of this story would have been enjoyable - it releases tomorrow, Thursday 24th March. Run for the hills or pray you get more out of it than me. Worth 1 out of 10.
It is Bold and The Beautiful on a big budget with a screenplay written by a junky recovering from a binge night off the wagon and directed by Catherine Hardwicke who should start a production company with M. Night Shyamalan she is that good. I loved Lords of Dogtown, I enjoyed Thirteen and Twilight and this is the end for me - I would be happy if I never saw a Hardwicke film ever again- did she even watch the dailies?? I would have resigned over ever seeing this trash released if I was the director.
OK - there were a very few things I liked in the film. Amanda Seyfried looks amazing in red and the camera work with the red cape on the snow has quite an impact. I also thought Shiloh Fernandez was so incredibly hot until he spoke then I cringed. And finally I would love to go to a pagan party and that one looked like it could have been good until a werewolf turned up and started eating people. And that was it! The rest is hideous.
David Johnson, who wrote the screenplay also wrote Orphan and is writing the upcoming Wrath of the Titans has penned possibly the worst screenplay I have ever seen on screen, as one other reviewer wrote "what big cliches you have". Catherine Hardwicke and the studios have to accept the blame for this though - they are the ultimate people responsible for making the films and seeing them through to the end. Hardwicke is basically the captain of the ship and she should have sunk to the bottom of the ocean with this one.
Every single actor is appalling in their delivery - I can't really blame them though for the screenplay/ script is pure trash rubbish. Seriously to see Gary Oldman in a role I would slap him for is shocking - did he act that bad on purpose or was it the level he was lowered to? Seyfriend can definitely act but she bounces from scene to scene with a look on her face that says - why couldn't I play the sister that was killed at the start? Fernandez is just plain bad and the quite attractive Max Irons (Dorian Gray) is embarrassing - he made Taylor Lautner look like a brilliant actor. He has the most tiniest ears that are very unnatural and kept me and Seb (viewing partner in crime) in hysterics every time he had a profile shot.
There is one scene between Irons and Fernandez - "if you're the werewolf I am going to chop your head off" - "I will do the same to you" - it's damn close to that - but it had the entire cinema in hysterics - it was possibly the gayest moment of the film between two people that sounded like they were reading straight from a script and had lost the meaning of the words emotional inflection. The entire cinema burst into laughter at the film.
There are also some the characters in the film that were just a waste of space. Billy Burke - Bella's dad from Twilight - is just disgraceful, it was like he smoked a truckload of pot before every scene and was wishing Edward had sucked his blood dry in Twilight to avoid being in this film. It was like watching a manic depressive acting scene. Then there was Vriginia Madsen who needed to be moved to a set for Days of Our Lives. But then there was grannie - played by Julie Christie who actually could act but her character was so loopy I just wanted her to be the wolf so the entire messed up "grannie, what big eyes you have......" scene could work.
A real shame this film is so hideously shit - the story could have been made into something really dark - Tim Burton doing a decent screenplay on the basis of this story would have been enjoyable - it releases tomorrow, Thursday 24th March. Run for the hills or pray you get more out of it than me. Worth 1 out of 10.
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Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Jason King
Sydney Table
Salty Popcorn
Total Randomness
I am glad you got something out of this piece of crap but it does lead me to believe you have issues if you actually enjoyed it. Is this Catherine Hardwicke??
Comment by Anonymous
Seriously, I am like you, it takes a lot for me to hate a movie, but this was a waste of my time. 1 out of 10 is right... and necessary, because I suppose zero is just not making a movie at all... which I wish Catherine Hardwicke had done in the first place.
Oh, and one last rant...who the hell has sex in the snow... and then cuddles naked in the freezing open air... Seriously, Catherine... what the hell?
Comment by Jason King
Sydney Table
Salty Popcorn
Total Randomness
You remind me of me when I walked out of the cinema fuming.
Hahahahahahaha. Thanks for your comment and the laughs