Jason KingSchool Hol Flicks - Street Kings & Spiderwick are WAY THE BEST
April 21st 2008 10:45
We love the school holidays because they are so busy and the cinemas make pretty much their only profits of the year but then the people working there have to live through grief and putting up with asshole kids on holidays who have turned into psychotic freaks because now apparently it's not cool to smack your kids. WHY OH WHY do distributors choose to release MA15 films in the bloody school holidays. Do u know what we have to go through to screen these films in the holidays? Multiple "frozen cola'd - up" brats sneaking into cinemas, chocking fire exits open, placing 18 graffiti tags in the one public cinema toilet and so on. Today I caught 4 kids sneaking through the fire exit, threw out about 5 kids, had to place extra staff on the doors just to check id's. One kid snuck into an MA15 cinema after paying for another film and I removed him to have another one of my staff tell me it was basically the 4th time he had attempted to sneak in today and he should leave. After he gave lip I decided it was time for him to leave. While walking past the candy bar in front of parents and their under 5's going to see Horton Hears a Who this kid screamed "FUCK U" at the top of his lungs into my face. My decision was leave, NO refund for you. He then threatened to have my staff bashed at the box office and security from Westfield had to be called. FUCKING useless they are, he stood there and did nothing to remove this kid. I ended up giving this shithead his money back just so he would leave my staff alone.
WHERE DO PARENTS GET OFF NOT DISCIPLINING THEIR KIDS???????????????????????
Makes me sick - my grandpa would be turning in his grave!!!
But now I sound like an old jaded cynical granddad, this is not about the stupid assholes me and my staff have to deal with - this article was meant to talk about the movies playing for the hols and what I thought of them.
HORTON HEARS A WHO - Worth $13- out of $16-
I have already written a separate review on this Horton LINK but want to say that this is for the young ones and parents alike. Very fun!! Jim Carrey and Steve Carrell at their animated funniest and what a great story.
STREET KINGS $14-
Just mind blowingly amazing. This is so not a Keanu film so if you're one of those tall poppied Keanu haters then you will probably like this. It's gritty, street worthy, well acted, well written and awesomely cast - Keanu (of course), Forrest Whitakker (I know I have spelt this wrong), Doctor House (hugh Laurie), Chris Evans (who is so good - need to see more of him on film and leave that joking Fantastic Four "Flame On" shit behind you) plus many more. It has street cred this film and is very brutal!! Try shovel in head brutal (soz for the spoiler). But it is one of the best dirty cop films I have seen for years and it came from nowhere. MUST SEE!!!
SUPERHERO $9-
Already reviewed this one also check it out HERE
Not too shabby and great for teenagers!! Make sure you wait through the credits - much more in there.
PROM NIGHT $2-
PURE SHIT - DON'T EVEN BOTHER AND AM NOT RUBISHING ANY MORE ON THIS FILM. Someone else's poor review copped my venting on this crap. HATED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!! Not even worth watching on DVD when you are at home dying of the flu.
NIM'S ISLAND
I am so not fit to review this film. I had read so much bad press about it I refused to watch it. However most of the mum's and kids coming out of it seem to enjoy it. Plus that rude woman that reviews the Sunday Telegraph, Rob Lowing, said it was great and for the first time in a million years she agreed with me on a film and loved Street Kings. So who knows - it maybe ok. Don't expect Jodie Foster gold though - expect a nice kid's fantasy adventure.
SEMI PRO $2-
Even worse than PROM NIGHT. I reviewed this film HERE
Avoid at all costs!!
SPIDERWICK CHRONICLES $14.50
Check out the review here but this film is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just loved it in a Dark Crystal, ET and teenage fantasy kind of way!!!
Well my pick is definitely Spiderwick Chronicles for the entire family and Street Kings for the movie loving cop killing bad ass film lover!! Soz - have not made it to any art house films lately but one I am dying to see that you should check out is an Oz film called September, will watch it this week and write a review but hunt it down in your dvd store now!!!!!!
SEPTEMBER (price to be determined)
The inaugural project in the newly established Tropfest Feature Program, September is a tender story of friendship and loyalty between two boys on the cusp of adulthood, 15-year-olds Paddy and Ed.
Western Australia, 1968. Ed (Xavier Samuel), the son of a white landowner, and Paddy (Clarence John Ryan), the Aboriginal boy whose family works on their farm, have been best friends since both being born on the same day. Their fathers Rick and Michael managed to cross social, racial and class boundaries, and were also firm friends throughout their lives. Paddy and Ed dream of becoming professional boxers - and together they build an amateur boxing ring where they spar every day, within the wheat fields of Ed's family farm. However the winds of social change are blowing - both for Paddy and Ed, who are on the cusp of becoming men, and in society - where Indigenous rights are beginning to be asserted - with both positive and negative effects for the local communities. Paddy and Ed struggle to keep their easy friendship from disintegrating, especially upon the arrival of the new girl in town, Amelia (Mia Wasikowska)...
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Makes me sick - my grandpa would be turning in his grave!!!
But now I sound like an old jaded cynical granddad, this is not about the stupid assholes me and my staff have to deal with - this article was meant to talk about the movies playing for the hols and what I thought of them.
I have already written a separate review on this Horton LINK but want to say that this is for the young ones and parents alike. Very fun!! Jim Carrey and Steve Carrell at their animated funniest and what a great story.
STREET KINGS $14-
Just mind blowingly amazing. This is so not a Keanu film so if you're one of those tall poppied Keanu haters then you will probably like this. It's gritty, street worthy, well acted, well written and awesomely cast - Keanu (of course), Forrest Whitakker (I know I have spelt this wrong), Doctor House (hugh Laurie), Chris Evans (who is so good - need to see more of him on film and leave that joking Fantastic Four "Flame On" shit behind you) plus many more. It has street cred this film and is very brutal!! Try shovel in head brutal (soz for the spoiler). But it is one of the best dirty cop films I have seen for years and it came from nowhere. MUST SEE!!!
SUPERHERO $9-
Already reviewed this one also check it out HERE
Not too shabby and great for teenagers!! Make sure you wait through the credits - much more in there.
PROM NIGHT $2-
PURE SHIT - DON'T EVEN BOTHER AND AM NOT RUBISHING ANY MORE ON THIS FILM. Someone else's poor review copped my venting on this crap. HATED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!! Not even worth watching on DVD when you are at home dying of the flu.
NIM'S ISLAND
I am so not fit to review this film. I had read so much bad press about it I refused to watch it. However most of the mum's and kids coming out of it seem to enjoy it. Plus that rude woman that reviews the Sunday Telegraph, Rob Lowing, said it was great and for the first time in a million years she agreed with me on a film and loved Street Kings. So who knows - it maybe ok. Don't expect Jodie Foster gold though - expect a nice kid's fantasy adventure.
SEMI PRO $2-
Even worse than PROM NIGHT. I reviewed this film HERE
Avoid at all costs!!
SPIDERWICK CHRONICLES $14.50
Check out the review here but this film is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just loved it in a Dark Crystal, ET and teenage fantasy kind of way!!!
Well my pick is definitely Spiderwick Chronicles for the entire family and Street Kings for the movie loving cop killing bad ass film lover!! Soz - have not made it to any art house films lately but one I am dying to see that you should check out is an Oz film called September, will watch it this week and write a review but hunt it down in your dvd store now!!!!!!
SEPTEMBER (price to be determined)
The inaugural project in the newly established Tropfest Feature Program, September is a tender story of friendship and loyalty between two boys on the cusp of adulthood, 15-year-olds Paddy and Ed.
Western Australia, 1968. Ed (Xavier Samuel), the son of a white landowner, and Paddy (Clarence John Ryan), the Aboriginal boy whose family works on their farm, have been best friends since both being born on the same day. Their fathers Rick and Michael managed to cross social, racial and class boundaries, and were also firm friends throughout their lives. Paddy and Ed dream of becoming professional boxers - and together they build an amateur boxing ring where they spar every day, within the wheat fields of Ed's family farm. However the winds of social change are blowing - both for Paddy and Ed, who are on the cusp of becoming men, and in society - where Indigenous rights are beginning to be asserted - with both positive and negative effects for the local communities. Paddy and Ed struggle to keep their easy friendship from disintegrating, especially upon the arrival of the new girl in town, Amelia (Mia Wasikowska)...
Thanks for Reading
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Comment by Cheryl J
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What a pity you can't drop-kick ill mannered people right out the door. You should have snapped him with your mobile and told his his picture would be at the ticket counter so they recognised because he was banned. That would teach the little shit.
Thanks for the reviews
Comment by Morgan Bell
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of course we cant authorise violence towards children but we can sure have fun imagining how the slapstick soundeffect might go in a cartoon!
how does Spiderwick compare to the recent Narnia or Stardust or Bridge to Terabithia? im so picky with childrens films, i rarely like anything aimed at the tiny tots
but i do love Hugh Laurie . . . like am IN LOVE with him haha, so i think im gunna have to go and check out Street Kings now that you have revealed he is part of the cast
Comment by Jason King
Salty Popcorn
Cheryl - Spiderwick is worth it! And we do have him on security cameras - may just have to print and leave at box office anyways. Thanks for the idea!
Morgan - LOL, thanks for the laugh. For me Spiderwick was the best out of the fantasy films you listed above. I was quite disappointed in the first Narnia - it felt like another BBC version of it and I just didn't like the kids (too corny). Special effects were great. Although the full length trailer for the new Narnia: Prince Caspian does look awesome but trailers can be deceiving. Stardust was AWESOME but I would think this more adult than Spiderwick, Michelle Pfeiffer was just fabulous. And funnily enough Prince Caspian (well the guy playing him) was in Stardust. Bridge to Terabithia knocked the wind out of me. The trailers advertised it as a full on fantasy and then that thing that happens towards the end floored me (won't reveal in case someone wants to watch it). While it was a great drama - I wanted so much more. I wanted Princess Bride/ Dark Crystal stuff. I would be interested to see what you think of Spiderwick but remember, Titanic was my number 1 - anything is possible. LOL