Jason KingTED: A Review by Salty
June 30th 2012 09:33
:
Hysterical Film
So I am changing the format of how I post my reviews now as a new film writer has set up his blog pretty much to reflect mine. Titling has been copied - excluding the CAPS and now I review a DVD from 2008 and his review pops up the next day. Oh well, best of luck, I will continue to plod along doing my own thing because I love what I do and it is more of an addictive hobby I can't get away from - unless work wishes to own me for a few weeks at a time 
So last night I had to get out of the house and great mate Sebby T wanted to do the same thing - come to mine he said, bring some wine he said, takeaway chicken burger with crispy bacon and aioli I said and enjoyed the hell out of - after weeks of tuna sandwiches I have been dying for takeaway transfats hahaha.
So we headed into the cinema to watch Ted - me more for Mark Wahlberg - hello there - my inspiration for post 40s - that body is just superb and how the hell does he keep that face so smooth all the time - it is like he shaves and then buffs. Sebby T loves the movie - in fact so much so this was his second viewing in two days and wanted to experience it again. Cool - it must be good - anything that has an R rated teddy bear smoking bongs and gyrating his pelvis to redneck girls is a win win in my mind.
Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane brings his boundary-pushing brand of humor to the big screen for the first time as writer, director and voice star of Ted. In the live action/CG-animated comedy, he tells the story of John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg), a grown man who must deal with the cherished teddy bear who came to life as the result of a childhood wish... and has refused to leave his side ever since.
If you are a teenage dude and/ or a fan of Family Guy you may get an erection watching this film - it is so appealing to this target audience and if you like films that are incredibly polite and politically correct and shot in period dress then you may have convulsions watching this but if you like a good film that is out of control humour, insults many people and even has a bit of racism, sexism and anything else to get a reaction then you may love this. If, like me, you thought that Flash (NOT FLESH) Gordon was one of the best films ever made in the 80s then you may do just like me and let out a little squeal of delight - I totally have a part of me that is completely John Bennett on the inside - I fully understood his reactions and the way he did things - and that glee on his face - mine was reflecting it in the cinema watching Sam J. Jones on the big screen again.
After the first twenty minutes I thought the film was going to be dire and fall on its ass as most of the jokes from the first 20mins were all in the trailer and no one was laughing that much but after that was over things just got weirder and weirder in this universe I wanted to be a part of more than ever! Mark Wahlberg rips it up and will score some big brownie points from patrons in this one. He does good and has a heart of gold - add to that this film will become cult and he will be known on top of everything else as that Marky Mark dude in Ted. Mila Kunis just is - she just plays the love interest who does some cool shit but is generally the downer - hearing Bennett's ring tone as the Imperial March for her on his phone nearly had me falling out of my chair in laughter and then hearing him try to explain it was a song from The Notebook nearly had me choking on my tongue.
But the guy who stole the show for me had a small part - and it wash't Ted - although Ted is by far the most crude character on film to date - no it was Giovanni Ribisi playing his most creepiest and completely insane character of all time - that gyrating pelvis was enough for me to body shudder from creep factor - I loved it and he topped the film off. And his kid - all I will say is bahahahahahaha.
I thoroughly recommend this film but be warned - expect trashy offensive humour - if you think Family Guy and things like South Park are funny then get yo butt to this one stat. It is out now and worth a happy 8 out of 10 stoned Teddy Bears - and advice of the day "if I get raped on the way home it will be because of what I am wearing".
So last night I had to get out of the house and great mate Sebby T wanted to do the same thing - come to mine he said, bring some wine he said, takeaway chicken burger with crispy bacon and aioli I said and enjoyed the hell out of - after weeks of tuna sandwiches I have been dying for takeaway transfats hahaha.
So we headed into the cinema to watch Ted - me more for Mark Wahlberg - hello there - my inspiration for post 40s - that body is just superb and how the hell does he keep that face so smooth all the time - it is like he shaves and then buffs. Sebby T loves the movie - in fact so much so this was his second viewing in two days and wanted to experience it again. Cool - it must be good - anything that has an R rated teddy bear smoking bongs and gyrating his pelvis to redneck girls is a win win in my mind.
Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane brings his boundary-pushing brand of humor to the big screen for the first time as writer, director and voice star of Ted. In the live action/CG-animated comedy, he tells the story of John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg), a grown man who must deal with the cherished teddy bear who came to life as the result of a childhood wish... and has refused to leave his side ever since.
If you are a teenage dude and/ or a fan of Family Guy you may get an erection watching this film - it is so appealing to this target audience and if you like films that are incredibly polite and politically correct and shot in period dress then you may have convulsions watching this but if you like a good film that is out of control humour, insults many people and even has a bit of racism, sexism and anything else to get a reaction then you may love this. If, like me, you thought that Flash (NOT FLESH) Gordon was one of the best films ever made in the 80s then you may do just like me and let out a little squeal of delight - I totally have a part of me that is completely John Bennett on the inside - I fully understood his reactions and the way he did things - and that glee on his face - mine was reflecting it in the cinema watching Sam J. Jones on the big screen again.
After the first twenty minutes I thought the film was going to be dire and fall on its ass as most of the jokes from the first 20mins were all in the trailer and no one was laughing that much but after that was over things just got weirder and weirder in this universe I wanted to be a part of more than ever! Mark Wahlberg rips it up and will score some big brownie points from patrons in this one. He does good and has a heart of gold - add to that this film will become cult and he will be known on top of everything else as that Marky Mark dude in Ted. Mila Kunis just is - she just plays the love interest who does some cool shit but is generally the downer - hearing Bennett's ring tone as the Imperial March for her on his phone nearly had me falling out of my chair in laughter and then hearing him try to explain it was a song from The Notebook nearly had me choking on my tongue.
But the guy who stole the show for me had a small part - and it wash't Ted - although Ted is by far the most crude character on film to date - no it was Giovanni Ribisi playing his most creepiest and completely insane character of all time - that gyrating pelvis was enough for me to body shudder from creep factor - I loved it and he topped the film off. And his kid - all I will say is bahahahahahaha.
I thoroughly recommend this film but be warned - expect trashy offensive humour - if you think Family Guy and things like South Park are funny then get yo butt to this one stat. It is out now and worth a happy 8 out of 10 stoned Teddy Bears - and advice of the day "if I get raped on the way home it will be because of what I am wearing"
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